How a documentary wedding photographer can make you feel more comfortable in front of the camera
Most people hate having their photo taken. It’s up there with the list of human experiences that feel like they shouldn’t be scary but are, like public speaking. Or going to the dentist. Great news though, having your photo taken doesn’t have to feel like you’re getting your teeth pulled! It’s all down to the type of photographer you book and the trust you build with them. Believe it or not, almost all of the couples you see in my gallery, on my socials, or throughout this guide, started off by telling me they were uncomfortable having their photo taken. Yet here they are, smiling, laughing, looking incredible. So you’re in good company.
First let’s go over the reasons you might be struggling with the idea of getting in front of the camera, so we can talk about why documentary photography can help, read to the end for some bonus tips to really rock your fine self on your wedding day.
Why are some people uncomfortable getting their photo taken?
The reasons someone may not like having their photo taken are as varied and complex as people themselves. That being said, after photographing hundreds of couples I’ve definitely noticed a few recurring themes:
Lack of self-confidence (the big one)
Not understanding the photographic process
Not having a rapport with their photographer
These may seem like pretty big issues to overcome in the lead-up to your wedding, but there are some super simple ways a documentary style and approach to photography can help to tackle these issues (and cross “worry about my wedding photos” off your list for good).
Lack of self-confidence
Alright, this one is a biggy, and it might seem impossible to overcome in the short time between whenever you’re reading this and the big day. But, here’s the thing, you don’t need to do this all at once. And you’re far from the only person who feels this way! Over 80% of adults in the UK have reported that they are not happy with their appearance.
A lack of self-confidence can manifest in many ways, but one that I see all the time is a fixation on, and hyper awareness of, cameras. This might mean that anytime you see the camera out of the corner of your eye, you’re tense, or you turn to it to make sure it gets “your good side”. Either way, the camera (and by extension the photographer) are seemingly always in your peripheral, making you feel much more on show.
If every time you see the photographer you’re turning toward or away from them, or doing any number of the TikTok hacks to “make your double chin disappear” or “have the perfect soft smile for your wedding day,” you’ll spend your whole day focusing on making yourself look different to how you are, rather than engaging with the moment in front of you. While it feels like regaining control over the thing that you’re worried about, it actually will lead to more discomfort and nerves.
Not understanding the photographic process
Now I don’t mean you need to know how to operate a camera. That’s your photographer’s job. And, honestly, the less you know about it the better. What I mean by understanding the photographic process is knowing what it’s like to have your picture taken by a professional.
While looking for a wedding photographer, you’ll come across terms like editorial, traditional, cinematic, and documentary. These different styles have vastly differing approaches to the process of photographing a wedding, and not all of them are right for every couple.
For example, an editorial style may look ace in a magazine, but in reality it often leads to spending your whole wedding day crafting scene after scene based on a curated moodboard, with multiple photographers and lighting assistants making sure that each moment is perfected before setting up the next intricate scene. It looks incredible, no doubt, but it can mean hours spent away from your guests during your wedding day, and can make you feel very exposed if you’re not huge on photos in the first place. If you’re more the type to want to party than pose, this might be a term to avoid when looking for your ideal photographer.
Not having a rapport with their photographer
Alright this one is going to sound weird, so let me give you some context. Other than your partner, who you may not even see until gone midday on your wedding, your photographer is the person you’re going to spend the most time with on your wedding day. They’re your professional third wheel. Meaning they’re there to support you, but they’re also going to be there for nearly every part of the day. Since this is the case, you need to make sure that you hire somebody that you really get along with.
Once you’ve seen their work, and you’ve checked they’re in budget, make sure you read into them. Check their reviews on google, read their about section, and make sure they not only align with your idea of what your photos could be, but also seem like somebody you want to hang out with. (Here are 10 questions to ask your photographer to find the right fit.)If they tick that box, it’ll make the whole idea of getting your photo taken a thousand times easier.
Lucie and Phil
“Grae made everything easy and so stress free. Throughout the day they were such a calm & relaxed influence, it was like having your mate as your photographer.“
What is documentary photography (and how does it help)?
So you’re getting married. That means having your photo taken, a lot. If that sounds stressful, I get it, but it doesn’t have to be. By making sure that you align what you want with the type of photographer you hire, your day becomes a whole lot easier. Rather than being a stressful, awkward, day-long photoshoot, documentary wedding photography can actually help counter all the things that make getting your photo taken hard.
What documentary photography is (and isn’t)
Documentary photography is actually what many photographers do for large portions of the day, regardless of whether they realise it or not. It’s photographing the scene in front of them, without interfering or directing. There are many points throughout a day where documentary photography is the only option. Like the ceremony, the speeches, the first dance, and the chaos of the dance floor afterwards! However, documentary photography as a style means applying this method to more than just these moments. It means taking a deliberate, thoughtful approach to your day, framing moments creatively as they happen in front of me, allowing the day to unfold without distraction. And without you worrying about the next pose I’m going to demand of you.
It lets you lose yourself in the joy of the day
Documentary wedding photography allows you to lose yourself in the joy of the day, knowing that I’m there capturing everything as it happens. No posing, no demands, no yelling for everybody to smile during a tender, once in a lifetime moment. This means you can worry less about your photos and what they look like, and focus on enjoying the time you’re spending with your closest friends and loved ones. In fact, the more focused you are on your wedding itself, the better the photos will be.
There’s no strict or awkward posing to worry about
I feel like we all have an image of the traditional wedding photographer in our head, constantly yelling for people to smile, say cheese, “do something with your hands!”. Do what with my hands? You don’t know, and, honestly, a lot of the time neither do they. Documentary photography makes this easier for you (and your guests) by doing away with heavily scripted moments and staged events throughout your day. Less posing, more fun, more real moments of connection captured by the camera.
It’s based on a simple and carefree photographic process
This is where it gets personal for me. Documentary photography is based on the simple joy of capturing life as it unfolds in front of you. And making sure it looks as amazing as it feels. This quiet, understated approach, lets me blend in at your wedding, making everybody feel at ease. Previous couple have told me it’s ‘like having a guest with a camera.’ It also gives me the chance to creatively frame and capture the hundreds of moments you may have missed in the glorious chaos that is a wedding day.
Alenka and Alex
“They were first of all very friendly and made us at ease immediately. During the ceremony and party they took a lot of different shots of the most crucial moments so we can really see the story of the day coming through the photos.”
Other tips for feeling your best in front of the camera
Now aside from wedding photography, there’s a bunch more things you can do to feel good and have an amazing time at your wedding. Here’s a few more tips to help you channel your most confident, bad-ass self. (Note: these can apply to real life too. Showing up for yourself authentically and fully is a lifelong thing.)
Wear something you love
Forget the traditions, forget what your great uncle thinks is appropriate, and ignore the trends. This is your wedding day, and if you want to walk down the aisle looking like an ancient celestial being, your favourite Star Wars character, or rock the crispest 3 piece wedding suit your guests have ever seen. Whatever you choose, it has to make you feel awesome. You can forgo the typical routes of buying a wedding outfit if they don’t feel right to you. Buy vintage, rock the best dress you already have in your wardrobe, customise your own leather jacket for the big day. Whatever you do, make it awesome and you’ll feel instantly a thousand times better when the photographer rocks up.
Practice body neutrality
Look, body positivity is a complicated and evolving topic, of which you’ll know more about when it comes to your own image than anybody else. That being said, a great stepping stone on the journey (and one you can practice right now) is called body neutrality. This is about understanding more of what your body does, and how it helps you, rather than focusing on appearances. Your body can breathe, can sing (whether that’s well or not is up to you), can dance and can love. It’s a complicated machine that is unique and incredible. By being grateful for the things it allows you to do, you can find more things you like about yourself in the process.
Surround yourself with positive people
A wedding is no place for an energy vampire. It’s your day, and you should surround yourself with people you know are going to hype you up, and make you feel great. Ignore any of the lists on “who should be in your wedding party”, they’re outdated and aimed at appeasing others. This is your wedding. And if your wedding party is smaller and more deliberate you’ll feel a huge sense of relief and positive energy on your wedding day.
Alright, now we’ve dealt with all of your self-confidence issues and I’ve saved you thousands of pounds in therapy (you’re welcome) let’s go over the key points.
Having a documentary wedding photographer allows you to focus on the day itself.
Weddings go by in a blur. But by building a wedding day that looks like what you actually want, you’ll enjoy yourself more, smile more, and not even have time to worry about a camera. You’ll be there, having the time of your life, rocking your favourite outfit, surrounded by your favourite people. By focusing your energy on the parts of the day that actually truly matter to you, you’ll find yourself worrying less about the camera and enjoying more of your wedding. All this, while knowing you’re going to get thoughtful, beautiful photos from a photographer who understands the importance of photographing YOUR wedding day, rather than a series of staged events.
See more folks who were uncomfortable before we started and how joyous they look here. (And if you want to talk to me about your big day, head over here.)